First Time OUt

I'm 76....have never read a blog....and here I am starting to write one.  Such audacity!  I called my blog, "Gramps Musings" cause that's what I suppose it is.  Random thoughts, starting on the last night of August, 2011, 8 months and 4 days after my "sweetie" died from ovarian cancer.  It's a beautiful night here at the Lake.  Twilight left its pinks and purples reflecting on the Lake....and as all weekday nights here, nothing but quiet.  Not sure why I suddenly started this. Haven't a clue of what I want it to be, or do... Can't imagine anyone reading it, other than perhaps my children if I tell them about it, because they will be curious...or my two reading grandsons, because they will be ordered to!   Perhaps it shall be therapeutic?  Like talking to oneself.  In the months since Carol's death, (perhaps before) I realize more than ever, that I'm a sharer, not a loner.  Some folks love being alone...or at least the opportunity to spend gobs of time by themselves.  Not antisocial, just happier not having the baggage of others to contend with.  The ability to walk away.  I don't see myself that way.  I like creating shared memories.  Hopefully, happy ones.  So for me, being without someone I care to share with is a more difficult time.  Thankfully, I have many, many friends who share quality time with me.  That's a good thing.  Perhaps at my stage of life I will find a different kind of "sharing time".  Sharing life's experiences, may mean, no one person to share it all with....as I was used to...but more than "one".  Perhaps I shall learn that I enjoy my alone time as part of a continuum of time....each precious.... each to be valued.... It's all a process.  All new.  And as Marty said, "a day at a time".